Can’t Multi-task!

1. I know, I know, I have been a terrible blogger this week. You would think with 3 kids, a cat, a wood stove, a husband, even a fish, all under my care, I would be able to handle many things at once. I guess, I do and that is why fitting in blogginess just hasn’t fit in. There is really nothing too crafty going on. The rug, is still not a rug yet, and doing updates on every new spiral would be about as boring as it is knitting the damn thing!!!! But if you are interested in shopping, here’s a new site, http://thepaintedpear.etsy.com and because it takes me alot of nerve and a little computer know-how to do these things, this has taken up most of my time this week. It is a work-in-progress. I will be adding more items as the days go on. But now you know, I haven’t been sittin on me toosh, well, I have, in front of the computer. Sneak peek

Illustration Friday – cats

We have a Maine Coon cat. His name is Buddy and he has very long hair. What a wonderful cat he is. Friendly, loving, good looking and vets and groomers have often said he has a small, dainty head. He often gets very matted, his fur gets knotted up and he’s uncomfortable. So a few years back we got him groomed, well shaved was our intention. We were asked if we wanted a lion’s cut. So now, about twice a year, he goes for his manly trim. About nine years ago, when we got him, it was our intention to keep him as an indoor cat. He seemed happy most of the time, never really trying to get out. Now we have lived in this new house for about a one and a half years, and it has sliders. The children have a hard time closing them fast enough. He is quick. So, needless to say, I know my cat well, but even on an oddball day this weekend, with temps in the sixty’s, I was out raking(not shovelling!), I do a double take. When I see this gray cat and his paint brush tail, prowling the jungles of our pines, I start humming the theme song to Lion King, “Circle of Life” and of course, “Hakuna Matada”, hmmmm, hmmm, “means no worries”……..

Rug Update

A thank you goes out to all those you responded with advice about my spiral rug. I have been blocking as I go along and I am fairly confident I will have a flat rug in the end. Sadly it is a pretty boring project. As the spirals get bigger, the more boring it gets. I look forward to sewing it together, because then you feel like you are getting somewhere. In the end, I may need to put a stiff backing, like a canvas, to help keep it’s shape. I also may need to let block by pinning it to a wall to wall carpet while it is damp. But at least I feel confident to move forward. I think you all know what I will be doing this weekend. Enjoy yours!

In light of my recent posts, I’d like to clarify some things. There is a direct correlation between not wanting to stand up in front of a classroom and my mother being active in the school system. They both draw attention to ME. That is something I have a hard time dealing with. There is no hidden meaning or the fact that I was embarrassed of my mother. No, it was just a reason for people to notice me. When I can FEEL a camera lense even remotely pointed my way I duck for cover. There is no doubt that I have security (insecurity) issues and self confidence and self-esteem blew out the window along time ago. You may say, well you have a blog, you can’t be all that shy. Well, I am not overly shy, nor would outgoing describe me either. This blog does not broadcast me, with myself holding the mike, like on the local news, discussing my crafty affairs. There is no real face to this, I am somewhat anonymous. The pictures I may draw of myself are just that, pictures, and may just be what I want people to see. This may be one of the many inner truths I need to confront.

Artist’s Way – week 2

I spent some time yesterday (re)reading through chapter 2, Recovering a Sense of Identity. I am still in a self-attack mode, but I don’t want to be. I need to stay more focused. While reading through the chapter on ATTENTION, I was struck. When I became a mother, my fantasy addiction started to set in, slowly at first. It is so true, how I have pushed off alot of creative ideas to be done, “when the kids are in school”. Granted I will have more time then, but I am sitting here typing, this time could be put to creative uses….If you really want to do something, you find and make the time. The story of Julia’s grandmother and the letters made me think of a parallel in my life, maybe on some abstract level. For a long time, maybe as long as I’ve known this person, I have always felt a sense of dissatifaction with my life, not with this person. I’d be at work, thinking about all the creative things I could be doing at home. Always pining for that perfect job. This person I know could do any job and find happiness in it. Make it fun, challenging, enjoyable. I envy that. I always wanted the job to make it fun for me, not me make the job fun. So this person I know must be paying attention, because I think he/she has a large capacity of delight! Being a stay-at-home mom, sure, is hard. I do find that some days I can make it fun, I do make it fun, but there a days that can test you.

Mystery Mom

Our elementary school has a program called Mystery Guest. There’s a sign-up sheet at the Open House. You are supposed to surprise your child with a visit and do a craft with the whole class. I have always shyed away from sign-up. My exuse being I have a terribly terrific 3 yr. old who would disrupt the class. Now my 2nd grader has made this a daily debate(for 2 years now). She desperately wants me to be a Mystery Mom. Now I don’t know what frightens me more. Standing in front of a classroom of 2nd graders (I know, 2nd graders, but sometimes the younger they are, the more judgemental, just usually with less to back it up)…or, coming up with the worst project ever. She has many more years left, as well as siblings and I would hate to be the thing that peers make fun of her for. I stress about these things. So this endeavor has weighed on me heavily. She won the battle and I have signed on to be a Mystery Mom. Now to figure out the craft. I ended up at Jo-Anns fabrics and came up with this idea. and the supplies… I ended up telling her about this. I needed to make sure this project was appropriate. She seems to think it is pretty “cool”, but it is a bit girly…arrrrggghh. I have to say I am somewhat honored she wants me to participate in something like this. When I was younger, I used to get very embarrassed when my mom came to the school. It was probably cause she was sooo involved. She chaperoned all the dances, organized all the craft fairs, was president of PTO’s PTA’s etc… I am proud of her today, and sad that I couldn’t have been more proud of her then. So now that I can see the mirror of myself in my daughter, there are so many things that haven’t reflected the same way. Most of them for the better. One being is that she doesn’t seem to be as sensitive as I was in certain areas. Like she didn’t cry when the Lion died in the “movie” and I cried for days. But she wants me at her school. She doesn’t seem to conform to a dress code. She seems very much more comfortable in her skin than I ever was. I just may be jealous and I certainly hope that she stays that way. I am out of time….got to go, sorry if this bored anyone, just doing some soul searching.

Illustration Friday – E is for

E is for Einstein

Old Sketchbook

Okay, this is the third time I have tried to post and I am getting a little tired of rewriting everything!!! It gets alot less wordy each time. This weekend we cleaned out our basement. Exciting, huh! I came across a box filled with some old artwork and such. I thought I might share some of the artwork I did awhile ago. It was fun revisiting a time when I was more creative. I sketched alot and loved working in pencil. Here are a few of the more colorful pieces I found. Here are some sketches of a mother and her children. Would have been funny if I had 4 children. These are sort of a sequence of sketches. Some sort of story I was tinkering with about a boy and a bug.

Knitting a Rug

For the last two days I have been excited about starting “the rug”. I picked up this book over the summer and have been salvitating (sp?) ever since. Well, I promised myself that if I finished those slippers, my reward would be being able to start “the rug”. Budgets are a little tight and we desperately need rugs. Our wood floors are getting so scratched and worn. As well as the furniture becomes amusement rides for the children, as the ottomans and chairs seem to move more easily on the wood. But, crappy krabby patties, to knit a wool rug is, or can be expensive. I am using scraps. But I do not care about matching colors or anything. This is soley for function. I do think it will have a nice look with the haphazardness of mix-matched colors. Here is how it is going so far. After day one: Then last night I did more: Here’s my dilema, and the book admits this, it is turning into a basket…bowl…I dunno, but I am getting a little scared. Instructions say to sew together as you go along. I am. But the fear of the unknown. Is this going to ever block flat? Any suggestions or words of comfort would be GREATLY appreciated. Here is a better view of the basket, no rug…. Oooooohhhh, yeah I am really unsure about this…..

The Artist’s Way

While reading blogs the other day I came across a comment referring to the beginning of an Artist’s Way group. My ears, eyes and fingers perked up! I discovered this book a few months ago and kind of thought it might be my salvation. http://www.thepaintedpear.com/journal/journal.aspx#30 http://www.thepaintedpear.com/journal/journal.aspx#31  Well, I am a procrastinator in many ways and after only a few chapters and 6 days or so of morning pages I guess I gave up. This is going to be the second time around. I am hopeful and excited. I am a little behind and have been rummaging through some boxes to find a large notebook. I started using a rather small, beautiful leather bound journal. I found I was writing small so as not to waste the pages. I thought if I used this beautiful notebook it would entice me to actually use it, everyday. But I kept thinking, someday I am going to run out of pages, so in order to keep this going forever, I need to write small. This is not a good start to a total immersion into a creative journey. I failed, but I am willing to admit this and try again. Just as I never stopped reversing into the driveway after reversing into the mailbox, I will try to face my fears, procrastinations, and even dreams head on, again and again. As my child tugs rudely on my shirt as I type, I will not let this deter me. It may slow me down, but I will not allow this to be the exuse that I so willingly gave into the first try. Everyday is a new beginning. I think of that so often. As the coffee aroma fills my nose and my blood starts trickling to my feet and my fingers, the morning can bring so many promises and renewals. The morning sounds of giggling children, clinking breakfast dishes, faucets and toilets, the smell of shampoo from a foggy bathroom all mean a new era is beginning. No more “tomorrow is another day”. Cause yes it is, but today is now. Okay, just for the record, I went on an artist’s date. I saw The Chronicles of Narnia. I cried, I smiled, I never blinked. For 2 hrs and twenty minutes I was 8 years old. I think some of the story I blocked out, because when it was unfolding loudly in front of my face the rushes of childhood were overwhelming and fresh. Fresh because for the last 28 yrs (or something like that) those feelings changed, morphed, shrunk, with the experiences of life twisting them like sillyputty. Now I was feeling them at a time before they were twisted.  Like a smell that can bring so many memories to the brain not just the nose, this story brought back a time of when I was different, younger, not inhibited, curious, naive. I enjoyed every minute, like I enjoyed it back then.